Biarkan Bintang Itu

ﺑﺳﻢﷲاﻟﺮﺣﻤﻦاﻟﺮﺣﻴﻢ
Assalam'alaykum,


Sesuatu telah hilang . Aku sangka telah ku bawa seluruh jiwa ragaku ke mari, rupanya . . .


You know , i just miss "syahiba" whom i "met" in Selangore Matriculation College (KMS). Kinda really miss "her". "We" often spend most of "our" time in Surau As-Sufi.

Ahhhh~ Surau As-Sufi, such a heart-calming and full-of-barokah hangout place. and the Assaff gang . . . . if i am allowed to do so, i hope i could stay there for another one year. just stay there, join the Assaff's activities. . . but i couldn't, i have to move on. Here. In this place.

When i was in KMS, i used to feel like "i wanna getta out of here right now! Mama , Ayah please take me out of this little 'hell'!" because of my own weakness. I am afraid that little 'hell' will 'kill' me. But i am wrong. Just wrong and so wrong. The reality is, that little 'hell' had made me felt like alive person, made me a strong and grateful one.

How i miss my roommates so badly , my practicummates (SM3K2T4), the anak Gayong KMS , the Lajnah Multimedia of Assaff.

How i miss the sky of Banting badly although it have quite extreme hot weather. But i much like love it rather than sitting in a very cold lecture hall.

Yeah the sky. Sometimes it is blue, sometimes it is white. And there are times when it is grey. And there was this one time, the sky is really blackish grey and it quite terrifying me plus with the strong wind and big monster-alike clouds are just around our college.

Despite of that, everything else are wonderful.

And the trees. Yeah the trees. There are just so few of trees in the KMS. You can actually count the trees with your fingers. Naah, your finger ain't enough to count 'em actually because they are more than your 20 fingers.

I miss my room; i miss my bed which is just next to Jiha's ,which there are some times when i woke up in the morning i will hug her. Well she did told me that sometimes i will hug her while i was sleeping.

I miss my table, near to the window. Yeah whenever i felt so stress while studying, i'll just look at the outside of the window. Then, i'll saw the trees, the pine-tree type i guess. Yeah and the sometimes-blue-sometimes-white sky too.

Not to forget, i miss my locker. Why? How can you miss a locker too? Because it most 'listened' to my cries. Whenever i felt like wanna cry, i will sit in the locker, half close the door and cry inside it. I am weirdo.


The most wonderful gifts of all in the KMS are the sunrise & the sunset. They are just so~ All i can say are Alhamdulillah, Masha Allah & Subhanallah.

Every morning while walking to class, i'll saw the beautiful sunrise smiling and greet me saying "Assalam'alaykum O the servant of Allah, may Allah bless your day". It made me feel positive and energetic person. Non-stop Zikrullah.
Sometimes, if the fog is quite thick, we are lucky then to see the shape of the sun clearly. Round shape and bright orange colour. Masha Allah.

And in the evening, i will wait at the window sitting at my table looking at the sky and at the same time hiding from being saw by the guys that were jogging that time.
Why?
Because i'm waiting for my beautiful sunset. Looking at it as i am like so in love with it from the window of my room. I am hypnotized. By Allah's beautiful creation.
And there are times i would run to the highest floor of my hostel to see the sunset view. And that time i was like "uhhh, i'm melting" .
And then non-stop Zikrullah.



*tersentak* Baru aku sedar. Jiwa aku tertinggal di sana. "Syahiba" yang kurindu ada di sana. Selama ini aku didampingi "Syahiba" yang dulu, yang ingin aku tinggalkan umpama ular meninggalkan kulitnya yang sudah tiada guna baginya.

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Dia kata,
Usah kau jadi bulan.
Dipandang dipuja,
Tapi bukan bulan yang beri cahaya,
Bukan bulan yang beri 'kehidupan'.

Dia kata lagi,
Jadilah seperti matahari.
Silau tidak terlihat,
Tiada yang ingin menyentuhnya.
Tapi matahari lah yang menerangi alam,
Beri kehidupan rasa 'bernyawa'.

Tapi aku,
Sedari atau tidak,
Aku menjadi bintang.
Jauh mahupun dekat
Mereka kata mereka ingin gapai aku.
Hakikatnya saat aku mendekati,
Mereka bakal termusnah kerana aku.

Dan biarkan aku jadi bintang di hujung semesta.
Agar tiada kehidupan bernyawa yang bakal terluka.

heart,
- Srikandi Kuda Hitam -
Nur Syahiba Haseena